Tag: Friends

16 Habits of the Very Rich, Part 5

16 Habits of the Very Rich, Part 5

What do 81% of the wealthy and only 19% of the poor do? I’ll give you a hint, or 2: it only takes a few minutes and will DRASTICALLY reduce stress in your life! And people with autism can’t function without doing this. It gives direction to the day, week, month and year! It’s the 5th thing that John & Nadya Melton teach about on this.

It’s having a to-do list! Sounds simple (and it is!), but very few do it. On this post, I’m going to pull from my own knowledge from my home-schooling years. And when my own kids were little. My kids are now ages 16-23. And when I quit doing this simple activity, my life became so chaotic, that I ended up falling apart. But maybe you’ve never done this. Or been taught how. Here’s my way of doing it. There are many ways to do this, but this is what I’ve learned.

1. Write down EVERY single thing that you have to get done. Include business/work, personal, kids, family, etc. This needs to include things that only get done on a weekly, monthly or yearly basis.
2. After you’ve written down what you have to do, categorize it into what needs to be done daily, then weekly, then monthly, and finally yearly.
3. After you’ve determined what needs to be done and how often, it gets MUCH easier! You schedule what order things get done. And this really comes down to personal preference. Some people work best by setting time blocks to get things done, others do best by doing a calendar with times. Most do a combination of these. For example, maybe you are in a class at the local gym. That will be at a specific time. That will also apply for work hours. By the way, a success tip I got from several of my leaders, including Reggie Cochran is if you have your own business: schedule it and work it like you would a job you go to. And treat it like that!
4. And that’s basically it. You will need to tweak it and adjust it when life changes. But a basic to-do list will simply allow you to get the things done each day that are required. And a bonus that you will discover is that you will have time to pursue those things that you “thought” you didn’t have time for. Such as a home-based business or a goal you thought you didn’t have time to pursue.

Now, what do you do when your friends/family/others don’t support this? First, decide if the opinion of that person really matters. A spouse or your parents, yes, they matter. And hopefully will support you in this! But anyone else (even well-meaning friends), decide if they are against it because you are making a decision that will inevitably change the relationship with them in some way. A story Reggie told me a few years ago will help here it’s the story of the crab bucket.

One time a man was walking along the beach and saw another man fishing in the surf with a bait bucket beside him.
As he drew closer, he saw that the bait bucket had no lid and had live crabs inside.
“Why don’t you cover your bait bucket, so the crabs won’t escape?” he said.
“You don’t understand,” the man replied, “If there is one crab in the bucket it would surely crawl out very quickly.
However, when there are many crabs in the bucket, if one tries to crawl up the side, the others grab hold of it and pull it back down so that it will share the same fate as the rest of them.”

Do you have too many crabs in your life? If you do: maybe, it’s time to change it.

crab bucket

Another lesson I learned applies here too: you are like the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you are spending time with people who are broke, who have no ambition, or no dreams. That will impact how you live your life. But the nice thing is you can change this. I’m not saying it will be easy or that everyone will support it. In fact, since I made the commitment to change, I’ve lost MANY friends. BUT I’ve gained friends who have more than made up for it. And it’s changing my life for the better!

Here’s a video that talks about it:

The Law of Averages | One Minute Lesson

Finally, get a GRIP on life. (I’m not yelling, by the way). This is an acronym from my awesome friend, Bob Goshen. From his book: “Confident Hope:Getting Through What Your Going Through.”

G: God is in control. He will help you through this and guide you. Just ask Him to.
R: Rejoice during the challenge. Taking control of your time is a challenge, but it’s so worth it!
I: Initiate your faith. Bob’s wife, Kay, has a wonderful take on Hebrews 11:1 which says, “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Kay’s interpretation is this: “Faith is believing something is so when it is not so, so it can be so.”
P: Prayer! Prayer is how I begin and end my day. But throughout the day, I also find myself praying throughout the day. And it’s because of that I’m able to handle my life. And anything that comes my way.

I hope this helps. As always, if I can help, let me know.

Faith and Martial Arts???

Faith and Martial Arts???

A google search of martial arts and Christianity generated about 16,600,000 results! Can a believer in Jesus practice martial arts safely? My response is YES! There are some martial arts forms that originated in Israel. And the actress named Gal Gadot who played Wonder Woman in the last movie in 2017 was herself Israeli. She learned Krav Maga, a style that I have several friends who are black belts in.

From the beginning, I knew that Reggie was a Christian. And he’s taught me more about being a believer in Jesus than anyone. When Jesus walked the earth, He was all about building relationships. Reggie and I are the same way. I’m not against churches. Far from it. But I do believe that we need to get back to where Jesus had His disciples. And it’s possible. We just need to get back to the basics. And follow what the Bible teaches. Completely. It’s simple.

When it comes to what Reggie has taught me, it’s actually very simple. If Jesus said it or did it: we can do the same thing if we have Jesus living inside of us. It’s really that simple. And achievable. Reggie has encouraged me to learn from 3 specific church leaders. This was really helpful last summer when most of the time on weekends I was working 7am to 7pm and going to a physical church wasn’t logistically possible. But I was determined to not allow my faith to be impacted. Many times, at work I would be listening to online sermons. Here’s the ones I listen to, and still continue to do even though I’m able to go to church now on Sundays and even Wednesday’s sometimes. If you click on the name, you will go to the website.

1. Kenneth Copeland Ministries and Eagle Mountain International Church, which is part of it.
2. Andrew Wommack Ministries
3. Curry Blake who leads John G. Lake Ministries.

What does this have to do with martial arts? A LOT!!!! I have already said in this series that one of Reggie’s projects is he is the project coordinator for Chuck & Gena Norris. It’s well known that the Norris’s are Christians. So is Reggie. So am I. But we are also martial artists.

Chuck Norris has a code of ethics that is excellent! One of these is this: “I will always remain loyal to God, my country, my family and my friends.” When I was first introduced to how martial arts could benefit me, I talked with a few friends who meant well. But they were not connected to martial arts in any capacity. They were VERY quick to inform me that martial arts is not something I should pursue because it’s new age. But my gut said, go for it! Reggie is one of the people who pointed out that being a Christian doesn’t mean you can’t practice any form of martial arts. And since then I’ve discovered that there are a LOT of believers in martial arts. So, maybe you’ve been thinking about martial arts but concerned about being a believer in this. Don’t let it hold you back. Support is there, and its great exercise! Need help finding a dojo? Let me know. I’ve got a LOT of friends in the martial arts community who are also believers. I’ll help. 😊


Lessons from Reggie: Think and Grow Rich Today

Lessons from Reggie: Think and Grow Rich Today

If you’ve followed me for any length of time, the name Dr. Reggie Cochran has come up. He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had. So, I’m doing a series as to why focusing on what he’s taught me over the years.

One of the 1st lessons from Reggie came from a book he was in. It’s called Think and Grow Rich Today. This book has been a must read of mine for 6 years now. And I tell everyone to read it. Reggie wrote chapter 18, titled “THINK AND GROW RICH IN ALL AREAS OF YOUR LIFE.” From the beginning of the chapter, you realize that he’s compassionate! And EXTREMELY successful. Here’s part of what’s included in this:

“This book is not about me. So, I will not go into all the ways Think and Grow Rich changed my life. But I will share this… they helped me to go from what people called “poor trailer trash” who was picked on as a kid for being fat and dropped out of high school… to become a world champion martial artist with advanced degrees in Christian counseling and clinical hypnotherapy. This led to a career as a mental skills / business coach to many internationally known celebrities, athletes and business professionals. Napoleon’s teaching has further helped me in becoming a keynote speaker and Best-Selling author who has co-authored books with Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn and Zig Ziglar to name a few.”

One of the things that Reggie has worked with me on is that where the head goes the body follows. I am blessed to be one of Reggie’s mental skills and business clients. So, one of the things that he has spent the most time with me on is mental skills, and more recently business skills. I am a martial arts student, but currently Reggie is not my sensei. However, that is going to change soon because when he releases a new program, I am investing in it. I’ll be talking about that in an upcoming blog post when its released. For years I played the “blame game” on why my life sucked! It was everyone’s fault but mine. It’s when Reggie called me out on that (more than once) it changed. In 2013 through 2016 I was NOT coachable or teachable. But Reggie saw that I was making progress. And that’s why I didn’t lose him from my life. And it’s why I now have him as my leader, coach, friend and in many ways: family.

I realized that my success isn’t dependent on anyone but my own actions.
This applies to everyone. And also, to every part of life: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Until full responsibility is taken, NOTHING will change. And any coaching from anyone won’t last. It wasn’t until I took this step that things began to change. Now, here’s a success tip: take what I’ve just said and put it to use. If I had done this sooner, I would be MUCH further along on my journey than I currently am. 😊

What is the difference between being coachable and teachable? I had to learn this. You can learn information. That is being teachable. But being coachable is different. Having knowledge is great! But using it is totally different. Taking information and learning to apply it in practical ways takes being coachable.

In October and November of 2019, I did some soul searching to decide what I wanted my life to look like going forward. And make some drastic changes in my life. This goes into the next step that Reggie does with his clients. Determine the goals they want. And write down in as much detail as possible WHY I wanted to accomplish each goal. One thing I’ve done is to get HYPER-FOCUSED. Meaning EVERY single goal, I have is connected to the other goals. I have goals in business and in my personal life. But for success to be achieved in 1 area, it has to be achieved in the other. Reggie taught me in that chapter “The more emotion attached to that goal, the greater chance of accomplishing it. I want them to be able to read “why” on a daily basis.” By having my goals tied into each other, I’m attaching emotion to it. I’m pursuing what Reggie calls the “Lavalicious Lifestyle.” This is simply a lifestyle that allows me to work and play on my terms.

My daily actions are a critical component to what I’m pursuing. I have certain things I have to do each day, week, and month to get what I want faster than I have. But, along the way: I have rewards lined up. Things as simple as a drink from a local coffee shop to a cruise later this year. Plus, blessing others in HUGE ways. To me: that is a reward! I love blessing others! It’s fun!

Next, accountability partners. Studies have shown that having an accountability partner increases the odds of success in MASSIVE ways. I’ve used Reggie as my accountability partner, kind of at first inadvertently, but now on purpose for years. And that leads to my final point on today’s post. Having an accountability partner is critical! Without one: the odds of being successful are SLIM. Reggie said this in his chapter: “This is someone that they are going to share their activities and results with on a regular basis.” Having Reggie as my accountability partner doesn’t mean that he “micromanages” every part of my life. But it does mean that he has “permission” to call me out when I’m not doing what I need to do. An accountability partner needs to be able to keep secrets and be supportive. Reggie also said “And you don’t want someone who is going to kick you while you are down and give you 100 reasons why you are not going to accomplish your goals. So, there has to be a lot of thought and consideration going into picking a great accountability partner.”

Reggie also said this within this chapter. And it’s worth sharing.

“See It: – I teach them how to visualize the outcome of their goals. To visually meditate in as much detail as possible their lifestyle – once they accomplish their goals.

Say It: – I help them write down positive affirmations that they will see and say, several times a day. I even encourage them to record themselves reading those affirmations so they can listen to them as much as possible. yes, I could do a recording for them in my voice and make more money for the service. But, without going into why, there is more power to your affirmations when you hear them in your own voice.

Be It: – Then I have them commit in writing to me and to their accountability partner, that they are going to follow through with their plan, no matter what it takes, for as long as it takes. They are not going to stop “three feet from gold.””

Like I’ve said: this is a book I suggest everyone read: Here’s the link to it on Amazon. Think and Grow Rich Today

Network Marketing: Why YOU Should Consider It. Part 5

Network Marketing: Why YOU Should Consider It. Part 5

Today I wrap up this series. Tomorrow I’m going a new direction and you’ll want to stay tuned, especially if you are into martial arts, no matter the type. And also into nutrition. It’s going to be fun and a game changer.

Yesterday I told you what Tony Zolecki loved about network marketing. But what do others say about this industry?

Tel Lovitos and Rolando Orencia: Travel. (We get paid when having fun! How cool is that???!!!!)

Catherine Goodman: Seeing firsthand the difference I’m making in another’s life. (If you want to make a real difference in people’s lives: this is an effective way to do it!)

Bobbi Schaben: Freedom providing more opportunities to bless others.

And my personal favorite reason: That I can have the life I want where I’m blessing others and helping those who are struggling.

The list of reasons people are active in network marketing are as varied as the number of people on earth. But that is one of the beautiful parts of this industry. No matter what your reason, if you are willing to dream, learn some simple skills, and apply them: YOU can be successful in this industry.

I’ve given you a lot to think about this week. If you would like to learn more, please contact me by going here: Malissa Van Zee. 


Reasons I Do Karate

Reasons I Do Karate

One of the things I’ve been doing recently is writing out why I’m doing martial arts. Specifically, I’m in UFAF, which is short for United Fighting Arts Federation. My amazing friends Dr. Reggie Cochran, Gena Norris (Chuck Norris’s wife), Cubbie Lewis, David Dunn, and Master Stephen Hammersley are all leaders in UFAF. I thought after reading this that I would post it and hopefully it would give you some incentive to give UFAF a try. I am a Gold belt currently in the Chuck Norris System.



  1. It’s helping with weight management: with power training, and pushing yourself, you will lose fat and gain muscle.
  2. Stress reduction: an effective martial arts training program creates an atmosphere that thrives on discipline and community. As a result, stress is reduced. Many times I have gone somewhere with an open space to take out frustrations whether it is from school, or family or just life in general.
  3. Increased flexibility. Many of the kicks, punches and blocks use joints and muscles that are connected to your joints. As a result, you are more flexible.
  4. As you are training, if you decide to push yourself, you will sweat and this is good for your heart. So, martial arts training can be an excellent cardio fitness program.
  5. It’s fun to learn new things! One of my favorite shows from childhood was Little House on the Prairie. In one episode, I remember Caroline Ingalls said to Laura something to the effect that the wise never stop learning. And you will learn many new things in martial arts training. And not just self-defense.
  6. It’s a great way to expand your social circles. Over the past few years, I’ve made some amazing friends because of my martial arts training. And these are the friends I know I will have the rest of my life.
  7. You will gain a new perspective on the world. As I was thinking about this I came across a quote from evolve-mma.com that said, “Martial arts, especially, will make you discover many things about yourself, inspiring you to unleash the warrior within you and improve yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally.”
  8. It gives you an opportunity to be creative. When you train in martial arts, you harness your creative side because you will need to be creative to know how to adapt to your style. As a bonus, this can be a bonus in your career because you will begin to think outside the box and come up with new ideas. This is something I’ve learned from watching my friends and I’ve noticed it helps with my getting creative to find answers to whatever I’m facing. Even though I work from home.
  9. It can help you overcome unhealthy habits by giving you a focus point. Sometimes when I want to get junk food I will practice karate to deal with it and it works great!
  10. It helps boost confidence and help face fears.
  11. You will have a healthier relationship with your body. You will want to be healthier to be more effective. Now, there are martial artists who are not healthy, but are effective. But even so, you will notice that even if they are overweight, they are very strong mentally. I’ve seen this in many of my friends who are leaders in various martial arts systems.
  12. You will have improved mental health. It can help with many mental issues including depression and anxiety. I’ve seen this personally in my own life.
  13. You will make more deliberate choices. It doesn’t mean you won’t make unhealthy choices, but when you do it will be on purpose.
  14. It will help with reflexes and coordination.
  15. It will help with motivation. I’ve heard stories of people who “suddenly” had a new motivation to quit smoking or reach a goal they had given up on. For me, I wanted to return to school to get a degree in nutrition. I ended up not only graduating, but graduating with honors.
  16. Friendships! I have made many new friends because of martial arts. Some are famous, others are not.
  17. Fun! I have fun practicing!

Without a doubt, this list will continue to grow as time goes on.



8 Ways to Beat Fear

8 Ways to Beat Fear

“It’s ok to lose to an opponent. It’s never ok to lose to fear.” Mr. Miyagi. How often have we allowed fear to stop us from pursuing a dream? Or trying something new? I’ve faced more opponents in my life than I care to think about. But the biggest opponent I have ever faced wasn’t a person, it was my own thoughts. Thoughts about am I good enough, or what if I fail, or even worse, what if I am successful?

We all face opponents. But far too often the hardest one to overcome is ourselves. How do you beat it? Some of the lessons that are toughest to win are the ones within ourselves. And it’s a battle that must be won if we want a successful life. How can we do this? I’ve asked Reggie Cochran this question a bunch of times and here are some of the ways he has taught me to do this:

  1. Face your fear. If you want to start your own business, but you’re afraid of not being successful, then you go with a low risk strategy, like network marketing. If you want to lose weight, start with where you are and begin to do more. If you want help, ask me for help. I’ll post a link at the bottom that will connect you to me.
  2. Set baby steps to reach your goal. And make sure they are manageable.
  3. Find some support. It can be online, offline, support groups, the options are endless.
  4. Surround yourself with people who believe in you.
  5. Listen to motivational teachings, Les Brown is one of my favorites. Jim Rohn is also a great one.
  6. Get a coach in the area that you need help in.
  7. Do Daily Affirmations!
  8. Change your environment.

As promised, here is a link to how you can connect to me. Malissa Van Zee


mr miyagi


Two People

Two People

She was raised in an environment where criticism was a constant factor. And as she grew up she became pessimistic and doubted that anything good would happen for her. But she made the decision to overcome the odds and become positive. She began to surround herself with positive people who spoke life into her weary body and mind. Over time her life changed. And as it changed she became a leader. And in spite of her early life, she beat the odds and changed thousands of lives as a result.
She was raised in an environment that was also critical. And as she grew up he became pessimistic and critical. She never realized that by changing her mindset and making the decision to change the outcome of her life, her life would change. Because of her mindset, her marriage fell apart, her children separated themselves from her, and she spoke words that would lead to an early death. And as a result, she passed away much too soon. Who knows what would have happened had she decided to find a better way.
You can choose to have problems or leadership building exercises. Your choice.

negative mind